I don't know why I've been talking about relationships so much lately, but I get fixated on certain topics (as was demonstrated by my weeklong ode to Irene Cara).
Sure, I may have some great insights on relationships now, but I occasionally marvel at my own past obtuseness. It's hard to believe, but I wasn't always this smooth.
For example, when I was a sophomore at Michigan State, I lived in a dorm and generally ate with a regular group of about 12-18 people. One evening, one of the freshmen women in our group asked me to come by her room about7:00 that evening to help tutor her in her Introduction to Psychology class.
That was clue number one. Who needs tutoring in a social science class, much less Psych 101? That's like tutoring someone in Home Economics.
Anyway, I went to her room. She let me know that her roommate was away and that she wouldn't be back until late that night so we wouldn't be interrupted. I noticed that her blinds were drawn and the room was dimly lit. I actually asked her how she could study with such poor lighting (I'm cringing even as I type this). She also had on some Quiet Storm music on, like Anita Baker or Luther Vandross. I didn't comment on that because I often studied with music on and it wasn't too distracting.
I didn't even know how you tutor Psych 101 but I tried anyway. It's all reading comprehension. You read the material and spew it back out on a multiple choice exam (our Intro Psych classes had like 500 people in them). It's not like you had to work story problems.
I noticed that she was sitting very close to me and thought "Wow, she's all up in my personal space." But I kept doing my best impression of a tutor.
She was reasonably attractive. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her, but for reasons that I still can't figure out, I was completely clueless about her intentions. I couldn't have come across any gayer if I had redecorated her room while I was there.
I was back in my room for about an hour when I finally figured out that she was looking for Interplanetary Cocoa Love. Needless to say, she never talked to me again.
Occasionally, I think about inventing a time machine solely so that I can go back in time and kick my own ass for being so stupid. In retrospect, however, any woman who was so readily willing to hook-up with me was probably unstable.
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7 comments:
when you get back there in time, feel free to drop by and lay a beating on past-me as well for all of my similar mis-adventures.
by the by, you must be God. this is the funniest blog ive ever read. im heavily promoting it to all of my friends
Do you have any idea how hard I'm going to be to live with after that comment? Thanks and I appreciate you spreading the word.
LOL I've had similar experiences in my past and I cringe to think about them. I still do it now, to some extent, but I'm less bothered than I used to be about the whole situation. Recognize you fecked up, make mental notes, then move on. C'est la vie.
I had just about this exact same scenario unfold for me in my freshman year at UCLA with the same results!
What was wrong with 18 year old me? He was horny 24-7, and yet when actively presented with the opportunity to have sex with a reasonably attractive young co-ed, he goes after it with the same enthusiasm generally reserved for painful periodontal work.
In retrospect, I don't think she really respected me as a person. To think she wanted me as her boy toy.
Thank you for linking me to your blog.
irene cara is too cool!!!!
"Interplanetary cocoa love?"
You're black?
and lend me the freaking time machine so I can kick my own past-arse.
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