As I stood outside my local Best Buy at 5:00am in this morning to get the new XBOX 360, a realization dawned over me that something has gone terribly wrong in my life.
I am a grown freaking man. I am a professional. A pillar in my community. A devoted father and a marginal husband. The idol of thousands with the strength of ten men. Yet, there I was out early on a Michigan winter morning waiting for the privilege of buying something legal from someone else.
To say that I am not a morning person would be an understatement. In fact, I remember clearly the last time I was outside my home at 5:00am. It was September 21, 2004, and was preceded by this exchange:
Spousal Unit: D, wake up. I'm having contractations.
Me: What time is it?
SU: 4:47.
Me: I'm sure it's just false labor. Go back to sleep.
There were far sicker people than me out there, some had camped out since last evening. There we were: college students, parents, grandparents, members of the armed forces, blue collar and white collar professionals, all coming together with a shared goal and a common trait of having our priorities out of whack.
By the way, two guys jumped to the front of the line when the store opened. They were clubbed and eaten by the rest of us. And it was totally justified.
So, despite my stating before all the reasons why I wouldn't get this toy, I caved. I'm sure this is no surprise to any of you. I'm a sick, sick man.
A sick, sick man with a sweet new toy.
Oh by the way (horrible segue warning) this blog has been listed on the humor site, Pointless Waste of Time. Please do me the favor of ranking this site here. Good reviews (actually any reviews) would be helpful to spread my fame. Just click a value from on 1-10. Thank you.
Remember, first I get the hits, then I get the power, then I get the women.
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18 comments:
So....does this mean that we won't be seeing any new entries from you while you 'break in' your new toy by playing it for 72 hours straight? Will the SU have to threaten you with 'abandonment' to pry your fingers off the controller?
You've already got the women, babe.
Shhh. They don't need to know about our special friendship.
At least you didn't spend $2500 buying one on eBay like some poor sap did earlier today.
A marginal husband? At least you're honest.
I'm at home with my parents this week for Thanksgiving and they both asked me what the heck this XBOX thing was? I told them it was a game system and I got blank stares. Then I had to compare it to the Nintendo they bought us like 20 years ago. It finally clicked. Sort of.
Marginal as in (occasionally) "insensitive inconsiderate and emotionally unavailable"
A barking dog never bites.
The biggest flirts are the most faithful spouses.
At least that's what I keep telling my husband.
Him, and his powerful lawyer brothers who could take the kid, the house, the cars, the X-Box and the cash faster than I can say "but-i-put-up-the-down-payment!"
So I was listening to a piece on NPR last night about how this XBOX 360 is really only worth the $$ if you also have a home theater system and a high definition TV, b/c then you'll get full advantage of all the cool new features. I actually thought of you while listening and wondered if you had all that other stuff (I'm guessing you do) and if not, whether those would be the next items on your shopping list.
Yep, I have all the bells and whistles necessary to fully take advantage of the system, all located in a room that I call "The Decompression Chamber"
Wow. I'm jealous.
That is really a reason to give thanks.
OK, I rated your site. So when you are all, like, rich and famous (as if), just don't forget all the little people who helped you get to the top, bubba.
At least you got something cool by getting up early. I stood outside Macy's this morning to buy a damn pair of sneakers during the "Black Friday" sale.
"I don't have time to play the stuff I have now. If I buy the new system, I wouldn't count on me posting a whole lot for a while. Or working. Or bathing." - I hope you're not stinky and unemployed right now, D. :)
Greg, let him stink and be unemployed. None of us have to smell him or feed him. It's the not posting that bugs me.
The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.
D - I love your site and I would be more than happy to give you props.
Thanks Mer!
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